Learning how to parent when you weren’t parented well yourself

We all become parents without any formal training and it’s one of the things that can make parenting so challenging. Babies aren’t born with a manual and it can take time to learn the skills required for parenting.

One of the main ways we learn how to raise our kids is from our parents, who role modelled ways of parenting when we were growing up. Once we become parents ourselves, we may adapt their parenting methods into our own style and routines. Some of us were raised by parents or care givers who were able to provide a safe and secure upbringing; but for others it is an entirely different story.

In this podcast, we talk to Flick, a mother of four, about how she learnt to parent when she wasn’t parented well herself.

Content warning: This podcast includes mentions of domestic violence, sexual trauma, substance use and child removal. If listening to this podcast brings up any difficult feelings for you, you can seek help from one of these mental health crisis, or support services.

In this episode you will hear:

• Flick discuss her experience accessing support services and how they have influenced her parenting [7:22]
•  Flick talks about reaching her ‘turning point’ [8:39]
• How Flick learnt to be the parent she wanted to be [10:32]
• Flick’s journey to reconnecting with her children [11:47]
• How Flick is now supporting other parents and her advice to them [15:32]

Further information and resources:

Factsheet: Parenting during recovery from mental illness (Emerging Minds Families)

Factsheet: Staying connected to your children when living with mental illness (Emerging Minds Families)

Factsheet series: Talking to your child about your mental illness (Emerging Minds Families)

Factsheet: Building your child’s support networks when you experience mental illness (Emerging Minds Families)

Factsheet: Building your support networks (Emerging Minds Families)

Factsheet: Self-care for parents and caregivers (Emerging Minds Families)

Factsheet: Adjusting to parenthood: Mothers and birthing parents (Emerging Minds Families)

Factsheet: Adjusting to parenthood: Fathers and non-birthing parents (Emerging Minds Families)

Factsheet: Depression and anxiety in new parents (Emerging Minds Families)

Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support