Move away from the scene. Remove the child and yourself as much as possible from the sight, sounds, smells and circumstances of the incident. Look for a quiet and settled place with other people around.
Avoid exposure to distressed people, other people’s conversations about their experience and media reporting of the incident.
Look after yourself. Understand that even though you are a parent, you are still likely to be experiencing much of the same distress as your child. While you will obviously want to focus on the needs of your child, it is important that you look after yourself and give yourself permission to access support.
Look for some support for yourself so you are better able to understand and help your child. Be mindful of the child’s needs and reactions and be responsive to them.
Tell your child that they are safe (when this is the case), that you are with them and that you will look after them.
Comfort your child with the normal comforting actions your child is used to such as cuddling, stroking, holding hands and sitting together. Quiet conversation and singing can also help to reassure them that they will be ok.
Accept the child’s responses, reactions and feelings. Don’t tell them to ‘be good’, to ‘stop being silly’ or to ‘be brave’.
Do not make behavioural or emotional demands or have expectations the child might not be able to meet at this particular time.
Allow the child to talk and say what needs to be said. Let them cry, but do not force them to talk. Calming and quiet conversation will help a child to settle and feel safe.
Answer any questions factually, clearly and concisely without unnecessary detail. If you do not have information, say so. Do not make promises which may not be able to be kept or make statements that may not be accurate.
Help the child to manage any physical reactions, such as through using slow and steady breathing when they are tense, breathing rapidly or fidgeting.
Connect with something familiar as soon as possible – a person, a place, an object. Familiarity and routine help to establish and maintain recovery.
Play or listen to music if children want to, try to make this happen.
Reassure the child that their reactions are normal and will pass in time.
This information is based on a resource originally authored by Ruth Wraith OAM, MCPP